I have been telling Sid and Etain, the two friends I usually email on a near-daily basis, that while our weather has me dressing in enough layers to make me look like a color-coordinated astronaut (quite a few people look like giant scoops of varied blends of yogurt or Play-Doh). Last night the last bus I could take broke down, I waited an hour for a bus in wind chills that were minus 30 degrees and pretty much seeing my life flash before my eyes, usually portions of my life that happened in the summer months. I thought of setting a fire, but all that was around me was frozen snow, and a briefly cackled like a hyena and wondered which layer of clothing would burn longest and that I wouldn't miss, and of course, cost the least amount. When I told Bart at work this morning, he said I should have walked to his house, maybe a half-mile away. I said that thought had also crossed my mind, but my legs were so cold, I moved like the Terminator would if he for some reason wore a diaper and for still another reason had crapped in them. Another bus finally showed up with a replacement driver, my feet warmed up about an hour after I arrived home, and I finally posted my photo of the cows looking at the meteor. That damn meteor was probably warmer than I about eighteen hours ago.
Still shambling the streets of the city Nelson Algren defined, I am the Monster in a madhouse refined. Burma Shave.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Moon Suits & The Cows Who Love Them
I have been telling Sid and Etain, the two friends I usually email on a near-daily basis, that while our weather has me dressing in enough layers to make me look like a color-coordinated astronaut (quite a few people look like giant scoops of varied blends of yogurt or Play-Doh). Last night the last bus I could take broke down, I waited an hour for a bus in wind chills that were minus 30 degrees and pretty much seeing my life flash before my eyes, usually portions of my life that happened in the summer months. I thought of setting a fire, but all that was around me was frozen snow, and a briefly cackled like a hyena and wondered which layer of clothing would burn longest and that I wouldn't miss, and of course, cost the least amount. When I told Bart at work this morning, he said I should have walked to his house, maybe a half-mile away. I said that thought had also crossed my mind, but my legs were so cold, I moved like the Terminator would if he for some reason wore a diaper and for still another reason had crapped in them. Another bus finally showed up with a replacement driver, my feet warmed up about an hour after I arrived home, and I finally posted my photo of the cows looking at the meteor. That damn meteor was probably warmer than I about eighteen hours ago.
Labels:
Cows,
Etain Lavena,
Meteors,
Moon Suits,
Sidney Williams
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Oh, my god, Wayne - I was out only briefly last night and it was so fricken cold I couldn't stand it - even my daughter who'll do anything to go shopping said she wanted to go home. I'm so glad you made it home in one piece, I can't imagine how awful it must been standing in it for so long.
Now on to other news... love the cows! That's a great picture.
That was no meteor. The cows know that their days as fifth columnists are almost over. The The great invasion from Planet Bovinia has finally begun.
It's the new War of the Worlds. I hope Sid writes the script.
That was no meteor. The cows know that their days as fifth columnists are almost over. The The great invasion from Planet Bovinia has finally begun.
It's the new War of the Worlds. I hope Sid writes the script.
In my experience as a Chicago commuter, the buses, els, and commuter trains ALWAYS break down when you need them the most-- when the damned windchill is -30 below or it's 104 degrees and 100% humidity. Ack.
whahahahhahaha....for the diaper...
And BBBRRRRRRRR.......for the cold....sorry friend.
:)
That picture of the cows is great; almost as good as that line about the Terminator crapping his pants.
I am so not a snow person. We lived in Oregon when I was a kid and I hated being that cold. I guess once you're a Californian beach bum you never go back. Though I don't live by the beach anymore any I miss it something awful.
Loved the picture. Sorry you were freezing in all of your dolloped wonder.
Thanks for commenting everyone. Its warming up now, even above freezing by Monday. Glad a few of you liked my diaper comment. Hasta La Vista, Poopie!
Cows carefully orchestrate and control the falling of all meteors to Earth.
Post a Comment