Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Steam Room Is Next

I am still pretty much incapable of doing anything when these ridiculous patches are not attached to my back. Steve asked about acupuncture, and I used to have a photo once of me getting acupuncture with electro-stim at the same time. I have also had many E-something-Gs, EMGs, I think. Electro-Mylographs. They stick a needle in you and its hooked to a machine, well, actually, there's quite a few needles stuck in you. One by one, the doctor twangs (yes, TWANGS THE EFFING NEEDLE) and the muscle flops like a fish on a dock. He does that until a twang does not produce a fish flop, and then makes a nodding, mm-hmming face expression, then writes something down. I'd say Sudoku, but that wasn't around in 1987, as far as I know. This was always done in my forearms and biceps, so I got to see every bit of it happening. The doctor would twang the needle the way you would shoot a marble, I crap you in the negative. And that's it for tonight, kids, gotta shut the ride down. Be careful going home.