Friday, September 19, 2008

...Burbank, You're My (Swampy) Home

Sheesh, Its been so long between posts, I forgot about being clever and substituting Burbank for Boston in the previous post entry. Found out a few houses on the next block have bones for roofs now. The car in the water is from our CBS affiliates website, as is the map. I recall stories my father would tell of his beat cop days, walking into waist high water with his partner making a chain between him and their squad, pulling people out of their Vegas and Volvos and Pintos, people dumb enough to try and drive under the viaducts that run past Central Park Avenue and Damen Avenue, the latter still having the remnants of trolley car tracks buried in the cement. To be honest, they could have put the Damen viaduct in THE DARK KNIGHT, its so damn creepy, even at high noon in July. I'm certain that the bridges over highway overpasses are somewhat different where Sid or Bob live, and Charles or Lana might say that New Orleans had its tight squeezes, but a Chicago viaduct filled with water should only be entered, well, it shouldn't be entered AT ALL. Park the car and climb up over the embankment if the rain has stopped. But my dad would have Big Bill or Lenny Rizzi hanging tight because of the current that could easily suck you under the car or up against submerged concrete, glass, and the usual shit citizens of the city discard on a daily basis. That lone car reminds me of the viaducts because in most cases, its just car. Anyhow. I was outside earlier reading a manuscript and to my disdain found that a child next door in that monster house had gotten his hands on one of those flute-like things that makes a sound effect when you pull on it, like the sound you'd hear if Stan Laurel dropped trou. The kid did it for whole minutes until I yelled at him in Make-Believe Polish, which is sometimes quite effective. Its kind of like BASZHA buzsse BHASZ JWEEE, only you mutter it and then get louder, then mutter again. Actually, I've done that with my head down in the worst neighborhoods while standing at a bus stop at 2 AM. Well, the kid went in, maybe to tell his parents so they could all laugh.


Charles Gramlich said...

Who knew that fake Polish could be a weapon? I guess you did. I'm glad it worked.

I can feel from the writing here what your father and his partners must have felt standing waist deep in cold, cold water, in the shadow of concrete.

Yvonne Navarro said...

Gosh, that's the worst flooding I've ever seen up there. I'm glad you're okay.

G. W. Ferguson said...

Sweet Guinea Pig of Winnipeg! That's...swampy. I was semi-joking before but you really DO have several story ideas there.

And speaking of action figures (well, you weren't, but you were in an earlier post that I'm too lazy to scroll for at the moment), you need to get yourself the special Uncle Owen & Aunt Beru set.

Capcom said...

Wow, what a story. And the pics too. Ditto, glad that you are OK.

Tooooooo funny, G.W.! X-D

HemlockMan said...

When trying to confound the local kids you have to stand on creaky legs, shake your fist, and do your best to sound like Lionel Barrymore from IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

"You darned kids! In my day..."

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Charles: my father has had grey toes from frostbie since the early 70s, because he's always the first one in the water or slush.

GW: I was behind on my comments from the last post, but if I did write a story, I'd hope that it would be optioned for a film and that I would be portrayed by Vin Deisel. Cool Star Wars figures, did you see my birthday post about my Stuntman Mike figure? Kurt Russell and Steve McQueen both on my desk. Wow, huh?

Von and Capcom, the waters in our neighboring state have receded and its fairly calm, the news is back to reporting the usual nine homicides over the weekend so far.

Hemlockman: Send me an audio of you doing that voice and I'll amplify it over our six foot fence all afternoon.

G. W. Ferguson said...

Oh yeah, Stuntman Mike action figures rock!

And speaking of your swampy home, did your CDs make it through the mud and the muck?