Monday, March 3, 2008

Forget 99 Tears, I've Got My 39th Scar

My long underwear made the blood coagulate. And make my shin look fat. Really, I'm svelte. I've been told that Kurt Russell mentioned this in an interview in TIGER BEAT FOR ADULTS. See, I was walkin' here (as Ratso Rizzo might say in MIDNIGHT RIDER) when I slipped on ice across from work and, as only I can, I slipped in Parker Pipe-Fitting's lot but then landed on a concrete block covered with snow in Berkel Midwest's lot. It hurt like hell, but I was busy all day, plus it hurts my arm and back more typing this even though the leg is swelling now. I took this wonderful stuff from work, we have this heavenly medicine cabinet, called PAIN FREE, 50% ibuprofen, 50% caffeine. Plus Pizza Rolls. It wasn't until I saw blood seeping into my jeans about an hour before my shift ended that I knew something was up. Well, there goes my shot at being the sex scene double in SWITCH HITTIN' SUMMER, as they obviously would do close-ups of my svelte yet muscular shins. Ah, well. I've been doing pretty good, though, its been three years without a scar. I'll have to make a list one day. The first one was in 1973, but everything went batshit by the car accident on March 18th 1989. Look forward to wonderfully depressing posts in two weeks, sound like a plan?...Well, time to contemplate chewing on some glass...