Monday, March 3, 2008

Forget 99 Tears, I've Got My 39th Scar





My long underwear made the blood coagulate. And make my shin look fat. Really, I'm svelte. I've been told that Kurt Russell mentioned this in an interview in TIGER BEAT FOR ADULTS. See, I was walkin' here (as Ratso Rizzo might say in MIDNIGHT RIDER) when I slipped on ice across from work and, as only I can, I slipped in Parker Pipe-Fitting's lot but then landed on a concrete block covered with snow in Berkel Midwest's lot. It hurt like hell, but I was busy all day, plus it hurts my arm and back more typing this even though the leg is swelling now. I took this wonderful stuff from work, we have this heavenly medicine cabinet, called PAIN FREE, 50% ibuprofen, 50% caffeine. Plus Pizza Rolls. It wasn't until I saw blood seeping into my jeans about an hour before my shift ended that I knew something was up. Well, there goes my shot at being the sex scene double in SWITCH HITTIN' SUMMER, as they obviously would do close-ups of my svelte yet muscular shins. Ah, well. I've been doing pretty good, though, its been three years without a scar. I'll have to make a list one day. The first one was in 1973, but everything went batshit by the car accident on March 18th 1989. Look forward to wonderfully depressing posts in two weeks, sound like a plan?...Well, time to contemplate chewing on some glass...
Wayne

7 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

That's a nasty looking bugger. Pain grin indeed. I'm sorry to hear this. Hope it feels better soon.

Lana Gramlich said...

*LOL* & ack...hope you heal quickly!

Steve Malley said...

Dude, just cause you look like that guy in UNBREAKABLE, doesn't mean you are...

:-) Glad, flesh wound aside, you're all right!

jason said...

hey, here is the site i was talking about where i made the extra cash, I was making about $900 extra a month...
check it out ..

HemlockMan said...

What kind of asshole leaves a concrete block under six inches of snow?

Anonymous said...

Ow!

I mean ... OWWWW!

That's gotta hurt!

-- Rich
(uh, by the way, it's ninety-SIX tears shed by Question Mark and the Mysterians, I think)

Anonymous said...

Ice. I hate it!
Was going into RadioShack here in OP the other day and tried to make it over the curb lump of ice.
Lost balance, tumbled and bounce off a parked SUV.
Then realized by noggin was sticking out into Madison street.
You be I did my turtle imitation big time.
Voice in head "you gonna get you melon smashed boy!".
Made my way up and was brushing myself off when a lady comes up to me "you ok? you ok? I almost ran over your head".
God bless those who care.


Gimme a 1-way to the equator.


HEF