Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Things We Do For Memes

Well, my good buddy Sid has hit me with a meme, this one involves me explaining six unremarkable quirks about me (as if anything about me is a secret by now) and then "tagging" six others, which I plan to do by hitting Next Blog Over six times. If it doesn't translate into Malaysian, its not like I didn't try something there, right. Unremarkable equals watching the Hallmark Movie Channel, so I'll need to put my spin on this. Can't talk about things I'll go into in bigger length on the blog, like the time I got into a car in 1992 with a guy I am now completely certain was a child molester, or my coming this close to leaving Chicago for Denver because it was better than spending $322.00 on the phone bill each month. Or things that will happen in the near future, like my explaining to Jessica exactly what Martian hypno-breath is. I can't very much list things in the meme like my man-crush on Kurt Russell or my curiosity towards hentai penguins OR dolphins. So I'll just come up with the usual crazy shit that is in my head and keep the six items to a few words, in no particular order.

1. I talk to animals as if they were human beings, which at times confuses my father if his hearing aids are not in.
2. I talk out loud to myself in public, now I am able to pretend I am talking on a cell phone if people don't look close enough. You've seen my face. Who in their right mind looks close enough?
3. I'd like to shoot a game of pool with Sean Connery.
4. I've seen ghosts. Not just when I'm on OR off my various medications.
5. I hate myself for it, but I am constantly envious of anybody who can do things using both hands. (Selfish, I know). Typing, emptying bags, having a threesome, as Rodney Dangerfield once bragged, like that.
6. I believe that I will be better known once I am dead, somewhere between King Tut and Larry Fine of the Three Stooges on The Recognition Scale.

And there you have it. Back to my semi-regularly scheduled madness later. There's always if you are still bored, wink wink. Or Google hentai dolphins, because, well, you know you want to....Wayne


HemlockMan said...

I hate the #6 part. A lot of writers I know claim that one. It reeks of a combination of...self-importance and self-pity. Don't do it.

I, too, sometimes talk to animals as if they were people. I also do that with radios, televisions, individual pieces of mail, sticks, porcelain plates, breezes, etc.

They should give broken cell phones to all of the crazy people. So it won't look so strange when they talk to themselves.

Grow a handlebar 'stache and you'll look like Jesse Ventura. Then you can run for Senator of Minnesota.

Sidney said...

Should be interesting for those next bloggers over!

Charles Gramlich said...

I talk to myself too, but it's usually when I'm in the house alone.

y said...

Uh... excuse me. You have to redo one of those. People who DON'T talk to animals as if they're human are the weird ones. So.

Capcom said...

Yummm, I like Absinthe. :-) It's pretty and it tastes like liquid Good-n-Plenty candies.

Lana Gramlich said...

Interesting 6! I talk to myself quite a bit, too (which sometimes confuses Charles.) Too many years alone, I guess...