Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Omaha Coward

It wasn't until I got home that I heard about the shooting at the Omaha mall. Of course, the asshat killer shot himself at the end. I emailed one of my future pallbearers, Sean Doolittle, to check on things. He was at that same mall a few days ago and his wife, Jessica, has her office nearby. Messed up country, and I really don't know why these guys just don't put a bullet in their head before random sprees. OK, the guy loses his job at McDonalds and his girlfriend broke up with him. He was 20. I'm 48, making ten bucks an hour, haven't had health insurance in three years, the Public Aid people are pretty much having a circle jerk on my repeated application forms. But I'm not going to kill myself, nor anybody else. I had thought about the Cal Sag Bridge as my place to stage my protest, just up the street from the plant, but really, its Alsip. Who'd notice? Besides, two people have been killed in hit and runs within blocks of the bridge. My only other thought would be to go up to the 66th floor of the Sears Tower, where the building tapers off, find a way through the glass, and strap myself in some gaudy outfit--need to be seen, you know?--and scream out "I AM SPARTACUS!" until the news choppers show up. I'll expect them to ask me about my protest, about my need for health care. Too late, I'll find out that the helicopter is from Homeland Security and some guy is leaning out to put another notch on the side of the chopper in red marker. I'll need to think this out more. I'm glad Snake & Bunny are OK (code names in the universe of Jonny Algiers). Oh, Sean has a few books out. I recommend RAIN DOGS. And DIRT. And BURN. And THE CLEAN-UP. Did I mention Dennis Lehane and George Pelecanos gave him cover blurbs? We met in 1992, up at Minn-Con, and he thought I was famous. Oh, the humanity. (Or is it humility?)


HemlockMan said...

With your luck, Miss America would be in the copter, and she'd be the one to take you out. (And I don't mean to the prom.)

USA. I definitely am not infected with that putrescent disease called patriotism. Those who are sicken me.

Charles Gramlich said...

I'll check out those books. You are pretty famous, Wayne. Pretty famous.

Lana Gramlich said...

*LOL @ "I AM SPARTACUS!" I hope you'd be wearing a bright, metallic cape, a feathered pimp hat & fishnet stockings up there. ;)
In all seriousness, however, what a freaking sicko. I often find it ironic that the US in so deeply involved in this bogus "war on terror" thing while we're fed spinach & peanut butter full of e coli & people like this kill dozens due to their own delusions & insecurities. Where IS "homeland security" when you need them? Sometimes I can see where the radical factions holed up in Montana are coming from!

Yvonne Navarro said...

Glad to hear Sean & Jess are okay. Honest to God, what the hell is the matter with people nowadays?

Steve Malley said...

That was one funny post!

Darkly funny, but then, humour is based on pain, no?

Sidney said...

Man, this incident made me mad. Looks like he stole the gun and all and it would have been a hard one to prevent, but these things are happening way too often. I have a lot of friends in Omaha because of work and I wondered about all of them the minute I heard and worried about their friends and spouses.

Way too often.

HEF said...

Gotta fill the boat to capacity these days.

Orders from upstairs. Fuel costs, labor, union pressures; usual shit.
So, now I gotta arrange for collateral damage for suicides. No more going the HemingWay.

Oh, well. Row row row.