Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Wayne Al-Sallee, Al-Queda Operative

Fuck it, let the NSA tag my heading. Christ knows if I get voice activated software as I am resigning myself to with a huge *sigh*, I can expect the same shit I had back in 2000. Back then, the program INSISTED my last name was Sailor. No shit. It INSISTED, as if I must be wrong. "Are you certain?" My reply: "I can use you as a coaster, you fuckburger." (Fuckburger is a word I rarely use, though it is quite common to hear me say fuck fuck fuckitty fuck when I am trying to type. I am adding all of these f words so that the NSA will report back to their superiors (c'mon, Rumsfeld is still the shadow man) that there's this new Arab guy, Al-Sallee, who is causing a stir about a...voice...activated...thingie. To paraphrase that odd film with Patrick Swayze that had Julie Newmar in its title, I think that the first story I read (since I know "they" will be listening) will be called "To Wang Chung With Love, Sirhan Sirhan." Look for me on CNN or check your local listings....Wayne PS I'm ranting because I really don't want to resort to Dragon Naturally Speaking because, to me, its like having to wear adult diapers. I swore I'd never use voice activation. There really is no plus side to this. I'm selling out, pure and simple. And since I have no real photos to go towards this post, I'll just show some of my hideous little Frankenstein body.


SQT said...

Good God man! I cringe everytime I see more of your injuries.

I've been meaning to come by ever since you sent out that post from "anonymous" that you deleted. That cracked me up.

Charles Gramlich said...

Al-Sallee? Yet another of your secret identities? I suppose it necessary for you to stay ahead in your cosmos spanning war with the evil Sternberg cult. I know, of course, that said cult is actually responsible for all the injuries which are detailed in these photos. I can read between the lines.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Great..between the al-Queda references and comments about the Cult of Sternberg, I figure I'll be in Gitmo by Christmas.

Kate S said...

Jeez Wayne.

And I told you - it's never a bad thing to take care of yourself. Now stop acting like it is before I hope a train down there and smack you upside the head.

You remind me of my brother who'll hop along 5 miles on his one leg with the stump of the other swollen and bleeding before he'd ever admit that a handicap parking sticker might not be such a bad idea.

Men. Hmph. It's gotta be a guy thing.

HemlockMan said...

On my trip to New England last week, we got the extra-special security scans. They put us in a kind of cattle-bin and rayed us, then patted us down, then swabbed all of our carry-on stuff with something that reacts if it encounters explosives. First time I'd flown since 2000. Since I'm such a Bush-hata, I figured this would happen.